Khenifra Souk

I had planned to get up early today and go to Khenifra to buy the big ticket items for my apartment – a bed, ponjs and a fridge. But no one in my house was up because they were at the wedding last night! I had mentioned to my host father that I wanted to go to Khenifra and would like him to go with me. I knew I needed a Moroccan to go with me so I wouldn't get ripped off. He was still asleep when I was ready to go and Fatima asked if he wanted to go and he said no.

I decided to go anyways, thinking I could get the smaller items instead. I have to take 2 taxis to get to Khenifra and while I was waiting in T-town I ran into my host uncle, Sidi Mo. He agreed to go with me to Khenifra and we were off.

We went to souk first, but Sidi Mo decided we should go to the regular stores instead. We went to a friend of his who owns a fabric/bed/ponj store. I want a double bed because I like my space when I sleep, but this completely miffed Sidi Mo. He kept asking who else was going to sleep in my bed with me. I had 2 options – top of the line and not top of the line. Top of the line was out of my price range but the other one was within my budget, so I bought that one. The store was tiny, so we couldn't lay the mattress on the floor so I could try them out. I have my fingers crossed that the one I bought will be good for my back.

Now we were on to the ponjs. These are kind of like large floor pillows that serve as couches. Some are simply foam rectangles and you can choose between different heights. This is what I have been sleeping on for the past two months and it is not comfortable. There are also ones that are stuffed with stuffing, which is what I wanted. We went upstairs to an apartment filled with foam rectangles. I sat on a couple different heights and found one I liked. Then we went back down to the store and I saw the stuffed ones. Sidi Mo negotiated a price on the ponjs and then we just hung out for a couple minutes. I'm not sure why.

Then it was time for lunch. I kept mentioning that I wanted to buy a fridge, but Sidi Mo kept telling me “shwia b shwia,” which means little by little. We went to the fish/pizza place, which I have since discovered has a good salad. It was hot and I welcome any opportunity to eat fresh vegetables, so I ordered a salad. This did not please Sidi Mo and he kept insisting that I eat something else. I kept saying no and telling him I didn't want to eat a lot because it was so hot. This conversation continued for most of the meal.

I had expected to rent a little van to haul everything to my village, but Sidi Mo said we could put it on top of the transit vehicle that goes to my village every evening at 5:30. We had some time to kill and we were not buying a fridge, so we went to an air conditioned cafe! It was too hot for coffee or tea, so I ordered a juice. We sat for at least 2 hours and Sidi Mo kept telling me to order something else. I didn't want anything else and he kept telling me to drink coffee or a soda. I am so frustrated with people telling me to eat and drink. I know when I am full and when I want to drink something. I didn't want to drink anything else!

Earlier in the day, we had seen my fellow volunteer, Sarah, who is dating the English teacher from her village. He is Moroccan and they were walking hand-in-hand down the street in Khenifra. Since dating isn't really practiced in Morocco – most marriages still seem to be arranged or dates heavily chaperoned, most people expect Sarah to marry this young man and take him to America. This situation apparently planted an idea in Sidi Mo's head because most of our conversation at the cafe revolved around him asking to go to America with me. I tried to fend this off with my usual answer, which is that its expensive to go to America. When I told him the cost of the plane ticket, he told me no problem. I mentioned visa's and passports and he said no problem. Then I joked about how everyone in the Sisterhood wants to go with me and I'm going to have to buy an airplane to bring them all with. This line usually diffuses these kinds of conversations but it wasn't working with Sidi Mo.

Somehow the conversation turned to me being old and needing to get married quick and start having babies. Because once I turn 30, I'll be too old to find a man. The conversation was cyclical...We'd get to me not wanting to get married and not wanting to have babies (not really true, but it usually quiets people down when they are annoying me with questions about my marriage plans) and then we'd start over with him wanting to come to America with me. He never outright said I want to marry you, but mentioned getting a job in a factory and buying me a car and nice house. Then he mentioned me having babies – skipped right over the marriage part to me having his babies. We'd come to Morocco every summer to visit family. I kept telling him no, that only I was going back to America and he asked me what I tell my family about him! He also kept telling me that it was easier to get papers if you are married to an American!

I can't tell you how frustrating and belittling it is to feel like all anyone sees me as is a ticket to America, especially the men. Sidi Mo is someone I trusted and thought would not follow this line of thinking, or at least be decent enough not to bring it up with me. I felt trapped...I had no desire to be anywhere near him or to continue the conversation, but he was helping me get my stuff back home. I felt helpless and completely out of control of anything, which is really a crummy feeling.

Thankfully, displays of physical affection between men and women are not acceptable outside of marriage, so Sidi Mo did not try anything, but I still felt like I'd been violated somehow. By the way, public displays of affection are illegal in Morocco. Foreigners can get away with it, but it is not accepted among Moroccans.

Around 4pm we returned to the shop to collect my purchases. We hired a small pick up truck to bring them to the bus station. Sidi Mo was really helpful in getting them loaded on the transit and making sure we had seats. I would have struggled to get everything done that we accomplished, had I been alone.