Breaking Down Barriers

This weekend was an incredibly productive and rewarding weekend. Last Thursday, 5 people from my village joined me in Khenifra to attend a workshop about “health.” This was my euphemism for AIDS. Sadia at the rural commune suggested this to me – she used to work for the association leading the event, so she knew what they would really be learning. AIDS (known as SIDA, the French acronym) is still very taboo in Morocco and I wasn't sure if they would be open to attending the workshop if they knew it was about SIDA. The guys, Said and Ali, are young, more educated than many and speak English. They've been my buddies over the past couple months, so they kind of knew what they were in for, but I don't think they really knew what to expect.

The taxi ride to Khenifra was a bit awkward – everyone was quiet and a little shy. When we arrived in Khenifra, the boys took off on their own to meet a friend and the women, Fatima, Zinb, Sadia H, and I walked to the hotel. Along the way, I talked to Sadia and learned a bit more about her. All 3 women are members of the weaving cooperative in my village and they have recently started working again. We were some of the first to arrive, so they went to get settled in their rooms and I hung out with Mara, the volunteer who organized the event.

The goal of the workshop was to teach HCNs (host country nationals – a nice government name for Moroccan citizens) to be peer educators about SIDA prevention. As Peace Corps volunteers, we can only do so much in terms of education and awareness, by teaching the people of our villages to be educators and leaders, our work is more sustainable. Ideally, the workshop attendees will return to their villages and teach their friends, family members and other community members about SIDA prevention.

The next 2 days were full of laughs, new friendships, some heated discussions and lots of bonding. Everyone met for dinner together on Thursday night and I managed to be the source of much entertainment at my table. Said and Ali were quick to translate when I didn't understand something one of the women from the Sisterhood said and then to give me a hard time about needing to study more. They told me I was like a student in elementary school and that if I didn't study, they would punish me! There was silverware on the table and Fatima looked at me and said she didn't know how to eat with silverware. I told her that I'd been in Morocco so long that I forgot too! We had a good laugh over that one and it seemed to break the ice a bit. Dinner was at 8 and it was after 10 when we actually finished and headed back to the volunteer's hotel. The participants were staying at the hotel where the workshop was taking place, but the volunteers had to stay at a different hotel across town because the participants filled up the first hotel!

Friday morning started with introductions and ice breakers. I sat at a table with the 5 people from the Sisterhood, but we were told to go meet someone new. I met a woman from Boumia who is a force to be reckoned with. She is the director of a women's center and runs all kind of programs to help women – she has a bakery cooperative, a weaving cooperative and other ongoing activities for women. And she knew about my NEDI and wants to help get it opened and up and running!!! Lahamdulah! Once everyone had a few minutes to meet their new person we went around the room introducing our partners. Everyone was very gracious to the PCV's as we tried our best to speak the language. Sadia H from my village was a little shy about the introductions because she couldn't remember everything her partner had told her, but she did her best and everyone was very supportive.

During the morning coffee/tea break, Said and Ali sought me out to tell me they felt a little out of their league. Most of the other participants were presidents or active members of associations, well-educated, and active in their communities and they were feeling unqualified to be there. I did my best to encourage them, told them I wouldn't have invited them if I didn't think they would be successful. Plus, I invited them because I don't think they realize the potential they have. I was hoping they would see what other people are doing in their communities and it would get them thinking of ways to be active at home. They are always telling me there is no work and nothing to do in our village, so maybe this will be the kick in the pants they need to start doing something.

A note about languages in Morocco – there is written Modern Standard Arabic, which is based on the Arabic of the Koran and is the universal spoken and written language of the Arab world; there is Darija, the spoken Arabic dialect of Morocco, which varies a little across the country; and there is Tamazight, the “Berber” dialect spoken by people in the Middle Atlas Mountain. These are not the same languages; a person can speak Darija, but not understand or know how to read Modern Standard Arabic. The women from my village fall into the latter category – they know the alphabet, but still sound out words and aren't comfortable speaking Darija. So, they were a little daunted by the morning activities which included a doctor from OPALS (another French acronym for an African organization fighting SIDA) talking about SIDA statistics in Morocco and other medical topics. Most of his talk was given in MSA, so they were a little out of the loop when we sat down to lunch.

The event was funded by Peace Corps, but led by a local association, Oued Srou which leads workshops like this in the Khenifra province and is involved in other community development activities. Khadija, the woman who led the workshop did a wonderful job and since she speaks Tamazight, made time during the breaks and at meals to explain anything my women didn't understand and to answer their questions. Most the other participants also spoke Tamazight, so they would explain their answers or reasons during discussion times in both Arabic and then again in Tamazight. It was awesome to see everyone come together like that.

In the afternoon, we played a game to demonstrate how quickly an STI or HIV can spread through a group of people. Everyone received a plastic bag and was told not to look at the contents. Then we went around greeting everyone and swapping a handful of the contents of our bags. After a few minutes we all sat down and opened our bags. Everyone had a mixture of lentils and rice. Khadija explained that at the beginning, one person had rice and everyone else had lentils. By sharing the contents of our bags, we had quickly spread a “disease” through the entire group. It is a great exercise and extremely illustrative. I had my women explain it to me and they were spot on! I've played other versions of this game where participants are given the option just to shake hands with people when they greet. This is illustrative of abstinence. Another option is to allow participants to knock their bags together in a “cheers” kind of motion. This is illustrative of wearing a condom during sex, i.e. you can still “meet” a person but not swap bodily fluids/lentils and rice.

In addition to their language challenges, it was hard to miss the fact that my women were the only ones wearing jellabas, a traditional, more formal garment. Women usually wear them when they go to souk in Khenifra, travel, or go to special events. The rest of the women wore more modern clothing - pants and sweaters or pants suits. I think it was partially because the other women are from larger cities/towns and they were a little younger than my women. Interestingly, all of the women wore head scarfs.

During dinner, some of the men started drumming on the tables and singing traditional Berber songs. This is known as a Hadus and one of the participants is a Hadus master/leader. As soon as the dishes were cleared, everyone joined in and soon books and metal serving platters were being used as drums! A lot of the music is based around drumming and call and response songs, so it didn't take much to get everyone going. Pretty soon, the men were lined up together and the women lined up across from them. Everyone stood shoulder to shoulder and danced...its mostly a bobbing up and down with a little hip thrown in. The Hadus master stands in the middle and leads and dances. Then a couple girls get in the middle and dance together...then a couple boys. Sadia H was the first to get in the middle and start dancing – I thought she was a shy person, but not anymore. She pulled me in and then before I knew it, Mara was wrapping her scarf around my hips. Its funny because in America, most women don't like to accentuate their hips, we would tie a scarf around our waist to accent it. But here, its the hips and then you shake them. So I did. And, I tied my scarf around Mara's hips and we all danced and laughed together! Since we had to get up early the next morning, we didn't stay up too late dancing.

Sunday was another full day of discussions and activities. In addition to learning about SIDA prevention, the participants learned how to be good communicators and educators. There was a heated discussion about communication styles. Many people believed that if you told people enough times or gave them the information forcefully enough, they would listen. This may be partially due to the education system where memorization and recitation is rewarded and critical thinking is not really taught.

During our afternoon break, I sat outside with Ali and Said and we discussed prostitution. Its a major issue in Morocco and something that people seem to accept. Its part of the reason SIDA could explode here in the next decade. Although Morocco has few cases of SIDA relative to Sub-Saharan Africa, the culture and sexual practices are ripe for SIDA to reach epidemic levels. Testing rates are not high, so infection rates may be much higher than what is reported. Said was arguing that if the women would be 'good' women and not make themselves available for prostitution, then prostitution wouldn't exist. I was arguing that just because it was available didn't mean men had to take advantage of it. Unfortunately, prostitution is economically viable. One of the participants is working with prostitutes in his village and his challenge is that most other income-generating ventures don't generate as much income as prostitution. Its kind of a vicious cycle because a woman who has been raped, divorced, widowed or has premarital sex is often shunned by her family and must support herself and her children. Education rates are low, especially for women, so often the only means of immediate income is prostitution. Said's argument was indicative of the cultural norms here and in many places throughout the world...Women are responsible for prostitution, not the men who shun them in the first place, leading them to prostitution...not the men who visit them. Its the women's fault. It is frustrating to have conversations like these, but I try to remember that we come from very different cultural backgrounds and in this culture, prostitution is widely accepted as a norm.

Linley, one of the other volunteers and I were also talking about this and came up with a campaign idea. We want the men to spend their money on other things than prostitution – baked goods, locally made clothes and crafts, eating out a restaurants and cafes, etc. It would support more women in other professions and save the men money.

We had another Hadus on Saturday night. At 11pm, the Moroccan participants started telling jokes and we volunteers headed back to our hotel. The sense of humor here is different and the jokes I understand aren't funny to me. Plus, everyone was talking so fast that I missed much of what was being said. Everyone met again for a farewell breakfast on Sunday morning. We all went our separate ways, but somehow ended up at the bus station together again. A majority of the participants were taking a 1pm bus so they bought tickets and then we went to souk together.

Khenifra's souk is on Sundays and it is crazy...packed with people, carts, donkeys and of course lots of food and goods for sale! It was great to be there with locals because they watched out for us “white folks” and made sure we didn't get lost in the crowd. At one point, a fight broke out and one of the young men from Midelt pulled me out of the way and then led me to a safe spot away from the gathering crowd. Its so interesting because in their own way, the men do look out for the women in their lives. Its just not the same way men look out for women in America.

I met my friend Miriam for lunch. She used to live in the Sisterhood but moved to Khenifra last month and I hadn't seen her since her family moved. We went back to her house and made a vegetarian tagine. Then we went for a walk to a little stream with a waterfall. It was beautiful and full of kids enjoying the warmer weather and sun. She begged me to stay the night, but I was exhausted and ready to crash. I promised to return again soon and to spend the night. She walked me back to the bus station and we made it just in time for me to get the last seat on the transit back.

Said and Ali were there and they gave me a hard time about being late. It was a quiet ride, but when we got close to home they struck up a conversation with me. We spoke Tamazight and they pretended that we weren't at the same workshop over weekend. It felt great to be taken into their fold and treated like one of them. As we got out of the transit in the center of town, they continued the shtick about not knowing me and invited themselves over for coffee. I welcomed them and told them they could come over whenever they wanted, but they told me they were just kidding and wouldn't actually come. They didn't of course, but I feel that a lot of cultural and personal barriers came down over the weekend. Even though Said and Ali had figuratively opened their arms to me before the workshop, I still felt like I had to be careful about how much I shared with them or how open I was with things that aren't culturally acceptable here (alcohol, sex before marriage, allowing American men in my house, my real religious views, etc.), but now I feel we have reached a new level in our friendship.

Over the past 3 days, I also bonded with the women from my village. We laughed and teased and were serious when we needed to be. It reminded me of the time I've spent with my Grandmom, Mom and sister in the sewing room or during quilting classes we've taken. We always have such a good time together and the atmosphere this weekend was reminiscent of those times with my family. I feel honored and humbled that these women embraced me as one of their own...they kept calling me “Hibangh” which literally means “our Hiba.”